I am the principal character in the only theatre in the town which has any existence …

I am Sir Walter Scott, and have been delineated in my own novel of Quentin Durward, under the name of Quentin Durward, in so far as concerns personal interest, for I am concerned…

I am the Mayor of the only city in the world. I am the Mayor of the City of Vanity, which lies in the broad street of Principal, and I rule over the inhabitants thereof.…